leaving

By this time tomorrow i'll be on the road towards Wisconsin. No more bus rides for over a month.

I've procrastinated the planning and the packing for as long as possible and now i'm left, as usual, at the last minute to frantically coordinate everything in my life into a few bags. My stomach is twisted. My mind feels scattered and half broken. And I'm going to visit my grandfather in the hospital in about an hour.

Change happens all the time but i know sometimes it's good to force it upon yourself. This has been a long-term effort that has, until now, been a concept. In retrospect, I'm sure it will seem minor. But for now, the movement from interior to exterior seems like a wide, dark gap. A drive. A simple drive across mostly flat land through New Mexico, Colorado, Nebraska, Iowa, Wisconsin—seemingly uneventful but potentially emotionally rugged. Flatness and expansiveness has the tendency to contrast with other areas of upheaval. My thoughts, like a silhouette against the landscape.

It should be interesting.