the baby train

People here, in Park Slope, seem to aggressively have babies. I mean, they are everywhere, in single, double and even triple form. Today, i saw some woman pushing an unwieldy stroller carting 3 small people around. A man tried to hold the door open for her while she, exhausted and sweaty, attempted to squeeze the device through the narrow doorway.

I like babies. I smile at them. They give me something to look at on the subway that isn't a Budweiser advertisement or warning about bedbugs. HOWEVER, i find myself getting a little tired of the sheer number of babies that are being transported around Brooklyn.

On my first day here, i saw a young, fashionable guy who i immediately assumed was not the father, pushing 2 of them. I commented that he couldn't be the dad and must have been pushing prop babies around. Somehow, babies had become the new ornament, like a small dog or clever hat. Maybe babies could be rented by the hour or day. Instead of paying someone to babysit, you could make a fair dollar by renting yours out. Think of how well they'd begin to socialize! (children are like dogs, right? The more you expose them to people, the calmer they become around them?).

At first, it was a little bit of a curiosity, then an oddity and now an uncanny, bizarre reality which i live in. On my run to Prospect Park, i have to bob and weave around at least 500 large-tired, fully-equipped, bulky, annoying strollers.

An announcement to all...stop having so many fucking children.