rainy, thinky

The last week of this program rolled through all tornado-like. Now it's pouring rain outside as if an attempt to wash the past 6 weeks away. It's coming down in sheets and all i can think of is how much energy it takes to pump all the storm water out of the subway lines so it doesn't become completely immersed. Even though...maybe it would give it all a good cleaning?

Days like today, where it rains from sun up to sun down and through the night, make me want to sit in bed with a cup of coffee and think and think and think. I am already accused of thinking too much most of the time so it's no wonder i had to leave PA, where days like this happen on a weekly basis, for Arizona which can withhold a thought for a good 3 months sometimes.

In the last few weeks of the program, i switched into working mode and compiled a series of videos resulting from...let's call them "urban gestures" and a few erased drawings. If you're about to ask me if i'm aware of Rauschenberg and the erased De Kooning, i'll have to remind you that it's not the only time someone has ever erased anything (for example...here or here). I decided i need to start doing some shorter, simpler actions and projects that i could execute within a day or 2 (although the compilation of the documentation or results might take longer).

This is part of an effort to not get too bogged down in some gigantic project that takes over my life and gives me high anxiety. Anxiety and neuroticism is my long-time friend and i need to channel it into a faster start and finish before my head pops off by the age of 40. Maybe it's a result of picking up this Anxiety and Depression book by Scott King at the New Museum (the best book store), but i have become far too aware of my own neurotic behavior.

Friday, the chair of the department took us all on a 2-hour sailboat ride around NY harbour. I like boats. I want a boat. I was giddy with happiness. Then, the day rolled into our final potluck blowout party including David Ross playing Dylan songs on guitar, karaoke, European dance moments, lots of wine, videos, photos, balloon hats and getting kicked out of the building to continue the love at a local bar. A lot of drinking was had and...2 separate, unrelated sing alongs to "Country Roads"

It was literally one of the best days of my life. Everyone in this program is pretty amazing...loving, warm, smart, creative and fun people. I'm feeling pretty fucking lucky.