ending

It's already Wednesday, and as i get glowered at by yet another tour group, I'm summing up my work.

Now all of a sudden it feels like i haven't been here at all. It feels like i just arrived yesterday. Time away from and together with people is nominal. There's just never enough time for anything.

It seems impossible to think that i could conceive of and complete a piece or anything in this span of time. But somehow i did. A big messy blob—we'll see how it goes after i look at it a month or so later.

Below is the opening portion of the video i've worked on. It could probably stand alone but since i think this project will be a part of a larger project to do, i'm not worrying too much about specific orders. There is another version with a lead-in to the rest of the video.

The disaster can keep going on since it always continues and exists in everyone. I think for me it's become a way to get at what i always want from people which is behavior, discussion, thought without pretense and defenses. People being people without worrying about how they're supposed to be. Which is really just me trying to figure out how to be myself despite what i feel people want me to be or my nervousness around my own expectations on how to behave around others. If they choose to participate, they have to reveal something, which is always the big risk. It's about my insecurity. And i think i feel the least insecure when i'm talking to others and they're not pretending with me. But it's all very complicated. What is authentic after all? All speaking and writing is a combination of communication and concealment.



video is copyright 2008 by Jen Urso